Music is an extension of my soul.

It keeps 110° days feeling like 75° via a goosebumps playlist.

It never ceases to amaze me that I can chart my sentiment across months, years, via shifts in my goosebumps playlists.

It makes me bawl of joy when I read my wedding vows

And his.

It jolts reality: raw, human, emotion-fueled reality at the speed of sound, hurling its way into my conscious mind; clueing me in and painting a more accurate vision of my reality.

“But I found peace with this path I took, as I lay down my head
And crossroads, you gotta choose, which way do we win or lose?
And every bone in my soul says I sing on through…
And I believe that I, was born with a song inside of me
Never questioned why, I just keep on singing these melodies
As time goes by, it’s funny how time can make you realize, we’re running out of it.”

I told Nate on our last trans-state, Oregon-to-California drive that this song was floating in my peripheral – close enough to the messages my soul sought to deliver for it to cut through, but not close enough to be its turn, yet. Just a back-of-my-mind nudge reminding me it was still there, and to keep it close, anyways.

Most certainly on that drive, I couldn’t have predicted that song would crowd-weave the dance floor of my soul to be first row, stage left. Not center stage, not yet. But definitely not the fourth or fifth row anymore – enough to out-muse any prior muses.

And for probably the first time, more than three lines of “Supply and Demand”

Somethin’ gotta give with the way I’m livin’
Seems I’m gettin’ down everyday
The more I strive, the less I’m alive
And seems I’m gettin’ further away

Oh well all my superstitions
And my crazy suspicions
Of the people that I care about
I’ve been doin’ more screamin’
Than I’ve been doin’ dreamin’
And I think it’s time I figure it out

Baby I need a plan
Oh, to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

I’ve been goin’ joggin’ in the park after dark
Draggin’ ’round with me my ball and chain
Took summer southern skies to make me realize
That I’m causin’ myself this pain

Well the woman that I’m lovin’
Yeah I’m pushin’ and shovin’
Getting further on by the day
And I can’t understand
How the heart of this man
Ever let it end up this way

Baby I need a plan
Oh to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

When the road gets dark and lonesome dear
You can find me here
But honey you don’t know where I am
You need a friend, yeah

Life ain’t easy
In fact I know it’s sleazy
When you’re the big man in town
Shakin’ religions
And makin’ decisions
You never get to slow on down

Well your wife and your baby
You tell them yeah well maybe
“I’ll meet y’all at a weekend resort”
But your eyes on the prize
And you can’t realize
That your little girl’s life’s so short

Brother you need a plan
Oh to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

Yeah sister you need a plan
Oh to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

Hey, you better figure it out now
You know you ain’t comin’ back down, yeah
You better figure it out now
You know you ain’t comin’ back down

Source: AZLyrics.com

Three years ago, I ended my Amos boycott with this song. It hit me like a pound of bricks then – a nagging, endless shoulder tap on repeat now.

Music doesn’t just poke at me when I need to wake up, and pay attention.

It ignites nostalgia and sends me spinning back in time, extending protection and safety over every inch of my soul.

Music is an expression of my soul. 

Tracing this most recent journey back, this set of lyrical epiphanies hit bass-drop status when I stumbled onto J. Ivy’s “Dream Big.”

And, shit. That was more like getting my ear blown off by a trumpeting family of elephants.

Less ton of bricks. More ear-shattering elephant trumpets. Next to my eardrum. Right next to it.

“And remember that can’t nobody stop you but you. Because dreams don’t come true, they are true. So dream big. And after that, dream even bigger.”

I am now. Now is my most precious resource. It always moves. So now is time.

It’s time.

And the load – the sneaky creep of shape-shifters playing Tetris with dumbbells on my chest, arranging and rearranging the perfect storm and symphony.

Sometimes you never realize the things you carry until they’re lifted from your chest, and normal breathing can resume.

The detour to my path has begun to circle back, closer to True North than ever before.

And those goddamn shape-shifters are peeling away their bars and holds, and the elephants are trumpeting and thundering from triumph instead of warning.

“You’ve heard it said that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This is true. It’s also where the journey to nowhere begins. Action without direction rarely leads to progress.” – Resilience, Eric Greitens

Good movement. Momentum potential.

Is this what it feels like to graduate from demo cuts and EPs?

I’m on my way to recording my first album. And I’m going to change the world.

Hi, direction.

Hi, clarity.

Hi, progress.

I missed you. How’d you sleep?